You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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