dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I think weed is turning my hair brown
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
