Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize