i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
thus making me awesome and them whores
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Randomize