hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize
