he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
