Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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