so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I can feel your judgement through the phone
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
