Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
