things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
