He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Randomize
