I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
