You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Randomize
