weddingsv make me drug and hornr
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
