SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
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