fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
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