Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
This house was built for laser tag.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
