If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
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My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
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okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
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