I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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