Banned from zoo.
Again?
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
