i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
you had me at cake vodka
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
