Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Pants are for mortals
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
