honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
