i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
