Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...