Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.