I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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