Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Randomize
