I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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