I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
