So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
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