id be glad to
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
