Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
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