Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
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We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
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Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
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