Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Randomize
