alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
