You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
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