let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
