Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
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