$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
