a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
