you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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