I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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