Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
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