You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
