You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
