The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Randomize
