They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
