Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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