Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Randomize
