This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Randomize
