you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
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