I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
