naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
