help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
