She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
Randomize
