he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
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I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
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Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
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