pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
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