also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
A+ Viking dick
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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