so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
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what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
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I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
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