just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
