It's Friday. Sex?
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Randomize
