OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Randomize
