He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
